iHurt
by The Volcanologist
Summary: Carly is depressed. She is lonely. She's unwanted. That's what she thinks. She's so caught up in her state, she begins to deteriorate. Spencer notices and confronts Carly about the whole situation, but is that the right thing to do? No slash. cuteness, whump. rated T for self harming.


**iCarly **

**iCarly: iHurt**

**Authors Note:**

**Do we have many iCarly fans out there reading? Well, I have just started getting into my iCarly's. I thought I'd try and come back with a one shot for iCarly, seeing as it is something new. Now some of you may have heard of me, most of you may not have but I am a big fan of Whump (hurting people). And I am a total fan when it comes to bromance but not proper romance, it has to be bromance, but in this case I quite envy Carly and Spencer's relationship, mostly because I envy Carly having a big brother. I always wanted a big brother. Right. Story time, I'm gonna put some whump in this.**

**Summary:**

**Carly is depressed. She is lonely. She's unwanted. That's what she thinks. She's so caught up in her state, she begins to deteriorate. Spencer notices and confronts Carly about the whole situation, but is that the right thing to do?**

**Carly's P.O.V **

Spencer was out, that was one good thing. He did not have to see me like this. I felt cold as I lay on my wooden floor. So cold, why did this have to happen to me? No one wanted me, not even Spencer. Why did they all have to ignore me? I tried to show them, I tried to hint. I hinted so many times and they did not get it. Why didn't they get it? I threw the bloodied knife away from me, curling up; I watched it skid along the floor, spinning. Blood splattered and scraped off it. So many blood marks. I laughed, staring down at my arms and my feet. I had gone deeper this time, used a strange tool. I liked it. The pain went away.

I felt so lonely. My heart ached for someone, anyone. Someone that I could just spill everything onto, but I couldn't do that. No, I wasn't that type of person. I couldn't let someone else hurt over me. They had problems of their own. I had my own problems therefore I deal with them on my own. I can't afford that person the extra stress. It's not good for them.

Sam and Freddie, I couldn't tell them. They were both happy in their lives, dating each other. They were too busy to notice me, too happy to have their lives ruined by me, an idiot. That's what I was, an idiot. I loved them to pieces, they were my best friends, but this was too much for them. They wouldn't be able to handle it. I wouldn't be able to handle telling them.

Spencer, no I couldn't tell him. He'd freak out. I'd be his disgrace. His own little sister, cutting herself. The filthy little girl. He might blame it on himself. He might think he didn't take care of me properly. Oh, poor Spence. It broke my heart to think that I would hurt him. He would tell dad, he would make me move to live with Grandad…I didn't want to move anywhere.

I loved Spencer, I couldn't upset him like this.

But it wasn't good for me. I needed to speak to someone, I needed to help myself. I could feel myself slipping, going down into this never ending black hole. When would I reach the bottom, was there a bottom, or was that death? Was the bottom of this black hole death? No, I didn't want that at all. I wouldn't let myself go that far.

That's what I hope.

My stomach seemed to knot in pain. I hadn't eaten properly in weeks. I had begun to lose my appetite. Don't worry; I ate bits and pieces here and there through the day, just to make sure Spencer wouldn't worry about me.

Then I heard the door slam shut. He was home, Spencer was home. He shouted my name up the stairs, asking if I was home. I shivered, glancing around my room, noticing my knife over the other side of the room. I whimpered almost silently as I heard Spencer run up the stairs. I scrambled, crawling to try and hide my knife. As the door opened, my body just managed hide my knife. My back was facing the door.

"Carly I'm sorry I'm late I was…Carly?!"

**Spencer's P.O.V**

I didn't mean to be late home, I tried ringing Carly to tell her I was going to be late, but she wasn't answering my calls or texts. I guess her phone was flat. I didn't mind, I knew and trust her enough to know she wasn't in any trouble.

What was I doing? I had just managed to submit one of my sculptures into an art museum down the road which had opened a section inside for unknown artists. I sent them photographs by email of all my sculptures I thought worthy for the gallery. They came back to me within hours saying they would like me to choose one to put into the gallery. I emailed back saying I would take my sculpture I thought would be more interesting in the gallery, Yipee-yi-yo-yo. It had so much colour and so much life; it would make its viewers a lot more interested. They paid me nine hundred and fifty bucks just for putting it in there!

I opened the door of my apartment, quickly stepping inside. The place was quiet and cold. Was Carly home? I checked the clock on the wall, it was half five.

"Carly, I'm home!" I shouted. I took my coat off, placing it on the hanger in my porch. She might be out with Sam and Freddie; I checked the table for a note. There wasn't one so I decided to check upstairs.

I heard sounds of a struggle as I walked nearer to her door, was she alright? I knocked once before walking in.

"Carly I'm sorry I'm late I was…" I paused, looking at the teenage girl who was currently curled up on the floor, shivering and shaking. There were red streaks all over the wooden floor. "Carly?!" I rushed to her, turning her over. She screamed in somewhat fright, pushing my hands away as she tried to curl up.

I saw the blood and that was the first thing I saw. Then the smell, how it overpowered all of my senses. No, it wasn't how they describe it in vampire books and movies- how it's sweet and mouth watering. It's not, I tell you. It's bitter and it smells like metal. It makes me want to be sick, but I can't, not for Carly's sake now.

I turned her over, a lot more gentle than before, holding out her arms to gain a closer look. They were deep from what I could tell.

"Oh, Carly." I sighed. I smiled softly. "What will I do with you, hm?" I smiled, picking her up and placing her on her bed. I took the knife she was hiding on the floor. I turned to look at her. She flinched, almost making me flinch. Was she scared of me? I held the knife, but placed it down at my side.

"Look, I'm going to have to…hide this, okay? I'll be back up in a moment." I smile, ruffling her hair and kissing her forehead. "Stay there kiddo." I smile, walking out. Once I was out of her room, I ran down the stairs, into the kitchen where I cleaned the knife thoroughly. Once I had done that, I ran into my room, lifting my mattress on my bed, placing the knife between the mattress and the bed itself. It was a hiding place for now, I'll move it later.

I felt so upset! My own little sister, I should have seen the signs, I should have seen the scars, and I should have seen how upset she looked when she walked in and around the apartment. I sat on my floor, grabbing my pillow. I stuffed it into my mouth and screamed as hard as I could. I felt so angry at myself for not noticing. I felt angry at Carly for not telling me. Why didn't she tell me, did she not trust me?

The scream did me some good. I pushed the pillow away from me, standing up and walking out. I went into the bathroom to collect the first aid kit we kept in there before heading into the kitchen. I filled the sink bucket up with warm water, and as it was filling up I hunted for a soft cloth I could use to clean up her injuries. Finding a sponge, I turned the water off and walked upstairs with the bucket.

Carly had not moved since I left. She was shaking and there were tear stain marks trailing down her cheeks. I smiled, sitting beside her, placing the first aid kit, bowl and sponge on her bedside table. I gently lifted her up, lifting her pillows up so she would be more comfortable sitting up.

"There we go, you'll be more comfortable now." I smile, taking the sponge and lightly dabbing at her skin, taking away the blood. There was so much blood, it frightened me. I did not show how scared I was though. I had to be strong, for Carly.

"I'm sorry Spencer." She whispered as I was half done with her left arm. I wouldn't have even noticed she was talking if I wasn't paying attention to her. I smiled up to her.

"What are you sorry for, sis?" I grinned softly.

"For you seeing me like this. I didn't want you to know…I didn't want you to be upset." She whispered, looking away from me. I paused in cleaning her. I set the sponge aside, and held one of her hands as I brushed a hair away from her face with the other.

"The thing is I know now, and I would much rather know than I didn't. Carly, I love you and I'll always look out for you. You're my little sister. I love you." I smile, going back to cleaning her.

"Will you promise not to tell anyone?" She whispered after a few moments. I smiled at her.

"I promise, I won't tell anyone." I smiled. I finished up cleaning both of her arms, bandaging them to make sure the bleeding stopped. Carly pointed out that her feet had cuts on them too, I couldn't resist the urge to tickle her feet in the process of cleaning them. She burst out into giggles, her feet flying everywhere to get away from my hands.

It wasn't long before her feet were bandaged so when I finished cleaning her up I told her I'd be back, taking the first aid box and the bowl back downstairs. I emptied the bowl, binning the sponge and put the first aid box under the counter in the kitchen. I made us some dinner of spaghetti tacos with coconut cream pie from the pie shop down the street which I had bought at lunchtime. Taking the plates upstairs, I sat on Carly's bed as we both ate in almost silence.

After the meal –this time I noticed she didn't eat as much as she should have-, I lay her pillows back down on her bed, making Carly follow suit. Her eyelids were dropping, indicating how tired she was. Maybe it was from the traumatic experience, after all it was only half seven.

"Get some sleep kiddo, you need it." I smiled, kissing the top of her head. She smiled up at me.

"Stay with me Spencer, please?" She pleaded. I smiled, how could I object?

"Alright, bunk up." I smiled, taking my shoes off and climbing onto the bed next to her. I brought her into one big hug as gently as I could.

"Thank you, Spencer." Carly whispered.

"It's nothing little sis. Just remember, I'm here if you need to talk. I don't care when, I don't care where. If you need to talk, you come to me, alright? I'll always be here for you, I always will be. Just remember that." I smiled, hugging her close.

"I love you Spencer." Carly's voice was muffled against my chest, making me laugh.

"I love you too kiddo, and when you are ready to talk about all that has happened, I'll be here. Take your time and tell me when you are ready. There is no rush. Just remember you are safe with me."

When Carly woke the next morning, she told me everything.

**Authors Note:**

**Well there you go guys, my first iCarly fan fic. What did you guys think? Love, hate? Boring? I'm kinda going with all those three at the minute but I was aiming for the cute side and I'm not quite sure I got there. Well, have fun with this one, tell me what you think. **


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